I went down there to pick it up, and when I was on my way back, at like 7 pm, I got hungry and went to McDonalds (it's a 2 hour trip on the bus each way, see) so I got a small McRib meal. on nom nom, was on my way. HALF AN HOUR LATER my stomach goes "beep beep beep WHAT THE FUC*BOOM*OOOOAAAAH". I had the shits like I've never had in my life. I was in apsolute agony.
<GerbilSoft> MadEchidna: you could say... * GerbilSoft shades <GerbilSoft> ..you were in a shitty situation <GerbilSoft> YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
So the bus pulls up to a Park and Ride which was half way between olympia and home, so I got off the bus for a much needed bathroom break. I RUN to the fucking public restroom, which has one stall and there is some dude paying a psp in the stall; and I'm like dude, hurry up pls, I'm about to shit myself here; and he's like uuh, whatever. A split second after that, my eyes go wide like an anime charactor who's been mortally stabbed and I think quickly. I pull down my pants, and procede to fill the sink (yeah, I was that desperate).
<EnzoAquarius> TROLL OF THE YEAR <EnzoAquarius> What did the guy say? <Var|Disasm> Did the guy come out? <MadEchidna> dude, you're saying troll of the year but this really happened <EnzoAquarius> I know <MadEchidna> no the dude didn't seem to notice <GerbilSoft> real-life troll <segaloco> MadEchidna: I know the situation, I ran into the bathroom at the gym in school once, all I heard was (fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap) * andlabs throws you all under the billy goat bridge <segaloco> so I just ran out and pissed on a tree <Var|Disasm> I bet he noticed when he went out
So I finish dispensing my chocolate softserver...
<Var|Disasm> or maybe he was high <Var|Disasm> and washed his hands in it
...and I'm like okay, now what?
I'm standing there with shit all over my butt and I have nothing to wipe.
<EnzoAquarius> Rubbed your ass in the grass? <Jorge> loool <MadEchidna> and I kid you not, it looked exactly like someone had poured like 8 pounds of ice cream into the sink <MadEchidna> it was like this perfect swirl. <andlabs> MadEchidna: no paper towels <andlabs> ?
So here's the scene. No towels, and I'm inches away from the door; and the door leads to a very public area with a security guard and people and busses. No hallway, just outside, and I'm covered in shit. so what do I do?
Fucking Solid Snake, man. I ran into the womens restroom.
<andlabs> MadEchidna: you work in an airport, right? <EnzoAquarius> MadEchidna: WIN
And I used that bathroom, oh did I ever use it.
And to cap it all off? I managed to walk right past the security guard and board the bus sans underwear (that was the only casualty).
And that, my friends, is the McRib Story.